Breathe Chapter 11

'I couldn't say goodbye…' 

Those words kept on flowing in Honoka's mind, which disturbed her reading. She closed her eyes at the same time she closed the book, took a deep breath to hold her tears in and adjusted her glasses. Yesterday was the anniversary of Nagisa's death, but she didn't go and visit her. She regretted when she turned down Fuji-P, Shiho and Rina's offer to come with them as they were going to see her. For her it was too late to go since she had to do some urgent business after few minutes. They stopped calling each other their surnames as they got good friends after the graduation from Junior High and Mepple, Mipple, Lulun and Porun went back to the Garden of the Light. She was nervous at the same time for after few minutes she, along with her few old classmates from Junior High School, were graduating from High School. Honoka reminisces her school days from elementary to High School. It was unbelievable how time flew like that. It seemed like yesterday she graduated from Junior High with Hikari and the others. At the graduation ceremony in Junior High, Nagisa's family showed up. It befuddled Honoka and made her sad at the same time, yet she finds it amazing how strong her parents are to show up. They didn't shed a tear; they shed tears of proud and happiness for the girls. Honoka smiled at the memory; now she understood where Nagisa got her strong spirit from. She let out a small chuckle over that. Honoka remembered something suddenly; she went to her drawer and grabbed a key chain, two look-alike mascots who were pink and yellow. She stared at it for awhile before she reminisces the day she got it. It was a normal sunday, well normal for them even though she was attacked one of the servants of the Dark Zone, her parents came to Japan from France from business to celebrate her brithday which they always did every year. They had to stop by jewelery store for business but robbers invaded inside the bank and ruined the moment, and after giving them a speech of earning money honestly, a servant of the Dark Zone came. When in danger, Nagisa came just in time, they transformed and beat the bad guy and after that she gave her the birthday present.

"Happy birthday."

Honoka lifted her head up as Nagisa's smile came into her mind. Few tears escaped from her eyes; she shocked her head while trying to dry the tears but more rounded up, which it came to her glasses but at this situation she didn't notice it.

"Honoka! Yuriko-san has arrived." Honoka automatically clutched her hand where the keychain was when she heard her Grandma called her. Honoka stood up, took a deep breath to hold up the saddness in her heart. She looked into her mirror to see if there were any tears left. She was red, even after crying little. She ran like crazy to the bathroom and washed her face and washed her glasses in the meantime. Before she greeted Yuriko, she placed the keychain on her belt. She walked to Yuriko as she was ready to face her.

"Good morning, Yuriko." she greeted her friendly. Yuriko had been growing taller, she was few centimetre higher than Honoka, and she grew her hair down to her neck. She began to wear square yellow glasses at the first year of High School, since she founded the old ones make her look like a nerd and out of fashion. But to Honoka it looked good on her. She wore her green dress which reached to her knees, unlike Honoka who wore the same looking blue dress with white dots when she was younger. "Shall we go?" Yuriko asked, breaking the silence. Honoka nodded as yes as a reply.

"Honoka, I will see you at the ceremony. Good luck." Sanae smiled.

Students were cheering, crying on each others' shoulders, both happy and sad tears, the most boys were teasing each other, giving each other noogies or taking pictures to capture the moment before they would take the next step in life. Again, Nagisa's parents showed up in the ceremony, tears rounded up. Honoka walked with Yuriko, Shiho and Rina outside with their diploma in their hands and baquet of flowers; the proudly waited until Sanae would take a picture of them when they would throw it in the air. It captured perfectly. Rina stretched as she happily smiled. "Mmm...so how's about a party to celebrate?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" Shiho threw her hands up, making Honoka smile. "So, where should we go?" Yuriko asked.

"Should we go to a sushi bar and get some alchohol?"

"We are underage, Shiho-san, but I think the sushi bar is a great idea."

"Aw, come on, come on, come on. This is a special occasion, let's cheat ourselves for alcohol."

"Geez, really? And how should we do so?"

"Umm...hehe...I have no clue..."

"What do you think, Honoka-san?" Rina noticed that Honoka wasn't paying attention to what they were saying, she was spacing out. "Honoka-san?" Rina touched Honoka's shoulder; Honoka got startled but caem up with a quickly smile. "Huh? What?"

"I said, should we skip the alcohol orjsut eat sushi?"

"Sorry guys, I'll be with you shortly. I need to visit someone."

Honoka left them confused, looking at each other for answer.

'I couldn't say goodbye, but now it's my chance.' 

Five years. Five long years. Throughout the years she haven't been able to face her. Now she stands infront of her grave, with her name covered. Her family name was cravled in red, the tombstone was square unlike the others who were tall ones, but some were small too and square. Her parents couldn't afford a bigger tombstone, so this was probably their only way. Honoka couldn't believe that she was standing infront of Nagisa's grave; she thought that they would grow old together and that she would be standing infront of grave when she died old, but not like this. She was too young; she had a full life ahead of her. When she heard from Fuji-P after Nagisa was put in medical attention, she didn't knew how to react at this situation, but she thought that they would have a bright future, get married and have kids. But no, she had to end like this. As her parents told her that the human were born to die. As she kept on staring the tombstone, she couldn't help but smile as memories floated in her mind. She placed the baquet of roses on the mold as she kneeled down, next to the candles that were besides the grave.

"It's been long time, Nagisa." Honoka spoke. "I'm sorry for not visiting you throughout the years. Been kind of busy." She chuckled lightly. "Ok, I lied." She stuck her tongue out.

"Me, Shiho-san, Rina-san and Yuriko just graduated from High School and your parents showed up. I can imagine how you would look like right now."

There was a long silence. Honoka didn't knew what to talk about more. But she suddenly burst into tears as she clutched her hands in despair.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for not visiting, I just couldn't bear to see you like that! But...I-I-I regret that I wasn't there. Damn it, Nagisa why did you leave? WHY DID YOU LEAVE US?" Honoka lost herself, she uncrontrollably cried. She tried to hold back the tears as she dried them and took a deep breath. She forced herself to smile, but wihtout noting, tears escaped from her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I guess this is goodbye. I will never forget you or all the memories we spent together." Honoka stood up as she took a last look at the urn before she left. "Goodbye...Nagisa..."

With that Honoka turned around and headed downhill. Not turning back. But if she did she might of just see it.

"Goodbye, Honoka. I will wait for you." Nagisa then disappeared into the mist.